I attempted to make this article as gender neutral as possible, please inbox me if there’s something I missed, or you felt was out of context, I will be happy to change it.
This past year, I’ve had my fair share of dates. Some bad, some good, some catastrophic even and most of them I think back and laugh, others I shake my head. But dating is a normal part of nearly every student’s life, because most of us are seeking ***some sort*** of companionship (eventually at least).
There are dates where your friends set you up, there are dates where you have a group chat with your friends updating them on how it’s going, there are dates when you’re
very unsure about how it’ll go and you have your friend waiting by their phone with a pre-planned *got to go home* story just in case, there are dates that you cancel on last minute of nervousness, there are dates that are just so awkward since the other person can’t talk as much as you do, there are dates that you find some mutual disagreement within the first 10 minutes and it just gets awkward from there, there are dates when you live in the same building as that person and then have to see them all the time, there are dates when you go to school with them and then you don’t know how to act at school.
Moral of the story- there are a lot of ways a date can play out! In today’s crazy busy, scholar/work society, especially in Toronto, everyone wants something different and it can be really hard to find someone even moderately on the same page as you. Nevermind how difficult it is to meet someone. I was having a conversation with my roommates the other day about our generation and dating, and we discussed that our lives are so repetitive, that it gets difficult to meet new people on a day to day, and even when we meet new people, nobody has a little extra gut to ask someone out. Cue dating apps. This will be part 1 of a 3 part series surrounding student life & dating.
Part 1: The Dating App Frenzy
Which One Should I download?
There’s all sorts of people on dating apps, some nice, some not-so nice, and some people who want the same things you want. The hardest part is having the patience to find that, so honestly, if I were to give any advice about this, it is to be upfront with what you’d like and what your purpose for having the app is. It makes it easier for everyone. I’ll give you a breakdown on three of them that millennials use most.
We mostly all know about tinder, we know the premise, we look at a bio, some photos, where they went/are going to school or where they work, their age and now that Spotify has linked with tinder, potentially their music taste (if they’ve added it). So you swipe left or right or now you can super like if you want to be extra into those 5 photos and one song they’ve got on their profile.
Then there’s bumble, the reclaimed feminist version of tinder where the woman has 24 hours to message first, then the man has 24 hours to respond. Disclaimer *I do not know how this app works in LGTBQ+ situations and I am sorry for that.* According to friends and fellow eambassadors, the mutual agreement seems to be that Bumble has a significant amount of nicer, more successful and more good looking people. It also has less of the “hook-up” stigma.
There’s happn, which shows you where you’ve crossed paths with people (at which intersection, which in my opinion is a little freaky), and then those people show up dashboard style for you to pick and choose and like away, once there is a mutual like, you can message someone. Happn is more relationship-positive, and lets you add a little more to your profile.From my understanding, grindr (an app used in the LGTBQ+ community) works the same way, and was actually the first dating app to exist.
What Are the People like?
You will no doubt, find all sorts:
The gym people, of course they feel the need to add multiple photos of them squatting. Yes. I definitely needed to see those to swipe right, got to check out their form first am I right?
There’s the adventerous ones, with photos from ski trips to their fun thailand summer contiki trip (laughing though), to volunteer trips, to their yoga head stands to them sitting in some eclectic bar.
There’s the ones that make it real clear that you better be down to watch anime.
There’s the “I definitely just copied and pasted this pickup line multiple times” type.
There’s the no-bio people, so I never really know what to think. Then there’s the ten years long bio about their deepest passion….
There’s the ones who put their height in their bio, and the following phrase “Because you totally want to know anyways”, I mean thank you for saving me time though.
And of course, the flexing in the mirror shirtless shots. Why.
The Underlying Issue
App-dating can be fun at times, because it allows us to meet new people easily, and sometimes it’s a little alluring to not know much about anyone before grabbing drinks with them. It’s also stressful when people have very different intentions that you have, or again that you don’t know the person. To anyone who has never been on an app-date or as my generation likes to call “The tinder experience”, you’re not missing much. We’ve all heard horror stories, but I think the worst part about app dating is the constant feeling of options. We all feel that if something doesn’t work out with someone, we can go reinstall an app to find someone new the next night, and while technically true, as a generation we need to reevaluate our relationships with others and understand that often times, there is potential to work on the ones we have before finding something new.
Again, it can definitely be a bunch of fun, especially that new tinder groups or night out feature. Has anyone actually used that?
Like every type of dating, app-dating is what you make of it. Toronto has endless amazing date spots, whether it’s a quiet “get to know you” type of night or something more adventurous is your taste. So whatever your intentions may be, make them clear, be on the same page as one another, be safe about everything (you can be the judge of how I meant this) and have fun!